The G.F. List Addendum

The date that started it all

Mr Farrell - Addendum

Have I got news for you!

Why is it that when we break up with someone, we like to see what our flames of the past are up to? I will psychoanalyse myself a little later, but for now, I wanted to let you know what is happening in Mr Farrell’s life.

If you’ve read my book, The G.F. List, you’ll know that I was seeing Mr Farrell for around five years. He was dead spunky and reminded me of Colin Farrell, hence why the chapter about him is titled Mr. Farrell.

His greatest fear in the world was to get married and have a family. And I don’t really want to re-hash how annoying this ridiculous conversation I had with him time and time again was. I didn’t want to talk about anymore than we did. I wanted to maintain my sanity.  Pretty soon after that, I pulled the pin on our five-year relationship that was going no-where.

We stayed friends, we went on a shenanigan-free holiday together and a few Januarys ago he made a promise to his mother that he would try having a relationship. To which, my response was “Don’t look at me. That’s not going to happen.” I know, I know, I’m as subtle as a sledgehammer. It’s a genetic defect, I’m sure.

Anyway, two weeks later I called to see what he was up to, if he wanted to out for a drink or whatnot and he announced that he was in a relationship. He asked the girl in the pet shop out and now he was in a relationship. I can’t tell you how bizarre that was for me.

Not more than two weeks before hand, he was testing the waters with me. He couldn’t be bothered going out to meet anyone and he didn’t. He just asked the girl in the pet shop out. Each to their own I guess, but it seemed a little strange and I lost a lot of respect for him. Do people really start relationship because they made a promise to their mother? Seriously, does this happen?

So that was the end of our friendship too. He refused to speak to me, which I found very weird. We were just buddies, no great romance was going to start between us. That flame had burnt out a long time ago for me, so I didn’t understand what his problem to be honest.

I put it down to a respect thing. Out of respect to his pet store girlfriend, he didn’t feel it was appropriate to be friends with me. He didn’t say that, I assumed that. All he said was “Don’t you know I have a Mrs? Don’t call me.” It was very strange, somewhat awkward and very uncharacteristic of him to be cranky for no apparent reason.

I just laughed, that can happen when I feel uncomfortable. I respected his wishes, and I haven’t spoken to him since. I have however done a little research to see what he was up to because I broke up with my boyfriend.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not interested in Mr Farrell, and I don’t want to go out for drinks with him or anything. He might be randomly cranky for whatever reason and I don’t want that in my life. I’m happy doing my own randomly happy things.

Anyway, I was chatting to my dear friend Mel about my break-up and her boyfriend. It was a very funny conversation and Mel and I can chat for hours. That’s what usually happens, and this conversation went for three. We never intend to chat for that long, but we laugh so much that time just flies.

Mel and I were talking about Facebook. Mel has a profile under a random name she made up and Facebook is relatively new to her. This made me think of Mr Farrell. He didn’t have Facebook either, well not when I knew him anyway. So I decided to see if he, like my friend Mel, had finally joined Facebook.

He did! I was so amazed and I had a click through a few things and what do you know… Mr Farrell is a father! I’m still a little shocked. But this is a more accurate timeline for you:

  1. I pull the pin our stupid relationship
  2. Mr Farrell and I are friends with zero benefits
  3. Mr Farrell asks out girl in pet shop
  4. Mr Farrell and I go on a holiday together, also with zero benefits
  5. Mr Farrell and girl from pet shop do whatever they do together
  6. Mr Farrell and I go to the pub. He wants a relationship, I say no
  7. Mr Farrell is in a relationship with pet store girl
  8. Five months later, Mr Farrell was a father

So, in case your maths is bad, when he wanted to start a relationship with me he had already gotten his pet shop girl pregnant. I doubt he would have known that she was pregnant when we had drinks that night though. He might be randomly cranky, and have some crazy ideas about relationships that will never make sense to me, but he’s not deceitful. It would take effort to be sneaky and manipulative, and he wouldn’t put his energy into that. He’s too lazy to bother.

Despite the massive Facebook bombshell, I am actually really proud of him. Despite all of his fears and relationship conspiracy theories, he is still with his pet store girlfriend. I don’t know what their relationship is like, and it’s none of my business to be honest. What I am more than certain of is that he would be the most loyal father in the world to his little boy.

He grew up not knowing his father and although he puts on a tough front, I know it bothers him. Knowing how much his family struggled, his father refused to support him or see him when he was growing up, is not forgivable in his eyes. And I don’t blame him for feeling that way.

I’m pretty sure that because he’s never had a father figure he will worry about whether he is doing the right thing as a father himself. But no one gets instructions when they become a parent anyway, so I don’t think he has anything to worry about. It probably still freaks him out and I’m sure he will doubt himself. He’s his own toughest critic.

I do however think that he would be a great dad. And I think he would move heaven and earth to be there for his child and give him what he missed out on growing up. I respect that and now his random crankiness makes sense. 

Why he didn’t think he could tell me, I will never know. It doesn’t really matter now anyway, we each have our own lives and it will stay that way. I would secretly like to congratulate him, and let him know how proud I am of him for having so much courage to launch into something that I know rattled him to the core.

I don’t think that would be a good idea. I think it would make him feel uncomfortable and it might come across as an unintentional, ‘I told you so’ conversation. I can’t guarantee that I will be able to keep my sledgehammer style under control. I am happy with the thought that he may read this one-day and come to know how proud I am of him on his own. In the meantime, I will continue doing what I do best… Just be myself, create a little mischief when the mood strikes and laugh on the phone all night long.

Posted 269 weeks ago