Sharyn Atkinson

Just your average single girl, blogging about an unusual single world

<p><em><strong>“He wanted to travel across two states to see me for a dirty weekend and asked if that was OK. What the hell sort of stupid question is that after dating someone for one week, six years ago?”</strong> </em>- The G.F. List by Sharyn Atkinson</p>

“He wanted to travel across two states to see me for a dirty weekend and asked if that was OK. What the hell sort of stupid question is that after dating someone for one week, six years ago?” - The G.F. List by Sharyn Atkinson

Posted 166 weeks ago
<p><strong>Am I In High School, Again? I Don’t Remember Dropping Acid</strong></p>
<p>In high school, I saw a fair few girls become jealous when their best friends were in a relationship and happy. Usually because they were still single and missed their ‘partner-in-crime’. But as a women in my mid-thirties, I’m baffled as to why this can still happen. Especially when the jealous person in the scenario is married. If you were married, had children, surely you would be happy if your single friend was in relationship, wouldn’t you? </p>
<p>I’m truly baffled. This is situation harder to figure out than a Rubics cube. Yes, if I am in a relationship with someone, I will make time for them because I want to. Having a tantrum about my lack of availability because there is someone new in my life is ridiculous. Especially in this instance, where historically my ‘partner-in-crime’ and I don’t see each other very often anyway because of work, the kids, the husband, the second job… Not to mention we live about 100kms apart.</p>
<p>Other than text message conversations, throughout our conflicting daily schedules, and quarterly catch up at her house, we don’t do a bunch of girlie stuff that has suddenly come to a halt as a result of me meeting someone. If this were high school, I would understand that spending less time with a best friend because of a guy, was similar to a mortal sin. But I don’t think that’s even applicable here. And more to the point, what is the big deal?</p>
<p>I see the recent text message I received as an attack on my happiness. Actually I don’t know what to make of it. My partner-in-crime calls it ‘reflecting on our friendship’. Reflection is very personal as far as I am concerned, and if one needs to reflect then I recommend doing it by the sea-side. It is a very peaceful and contemplative environment to be in for reflection.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m a little harsh on the reflection piece. But then again, I know the part of the text message I read that made me sit up, choke on my water and wonder if I was in fact in high school again. I honestly think that my former ‘partner-in-crime’ is upset with me because I failed to formerly announce that I was in a relationship. I know, my reaction was the same as yours.“What the fuck?”</p>
<p>I’m a little rusty on the relationship thing, but I have never felt the need to

Would updating my relationship status on Facebook have made things different? Possibly not, because in this instance I was told that she found out I was in a relationship because of one Twitter post I made. Seriously? Come on! I’m in trouble over an inferred boyfriend Twitter reference? This kind of stuff has to go down at high school in 2014. Those hundred and forty characters can cut like a knife… I know! That was my reaction too! “For F#%@ sake!" 

Is it so bad that I tweeted "He has messed with my marketing plan, but I reckon he’s allowed to”? Ummm, no. And I don’t see that really translates to me not 'valuing’ our alleged friendship. If anything, the whole text message conversation made me see that we are not on the same page as we once were. And in reality, we hadn’t been for a long time.

My partner-in-crime and I had very different lives. She has two jobs, two children, a husband, early nights and I have work, the gym, socializing, author duties, starting a company and a lot of late nights. Her entire 'reflection’ annoyed the bajeezus out of me and I failed to see her point, and refused to make time for it. It was her reflection, so I highly recommended that she continue to reflect and leave me out of it. Reflection is personal, I am not the sort of person who will send someone a message to give them an update on various aspects of my life. 

I just don’t get it and although I think it’s a little sad that we have stopped talking, maybe it’s for the best. I’ve never had a friendship with anyone where they feel like they are not important because I don’t give them updates. Is this a new thing where people are used to message feeds, rather than conversation? What’s so difficult about asking how things are going with that guy I started seeing in Summer if that’s what you want to know? I’m not really up for a friendship like that, that’s more of a Twitter follower scenario for me. 

This is such non-sense, it really makes me angry. It looks like the high school kids of today will have to be mindful of which friends are following them on Twitter. The social media school generation is definitely not my thing. It didn’t exist in 1994, and I have no need to create a parallel universe for myself today. And so it seems that my parter-in-crime and I are no longer partners.

People change, people have different values, and I have said it before and I will say it again: ’If someone is not for me, I will walk away’. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re just headed in different directions. For now, her 'reflections’ are really not my problem. So my reply was simple 'best wishes, etc. etc’…

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Am I In High School, Again? I Don’t Remember Dropping Acid

In high school, I saw a fair few girls become jealous when their best friends were in a relationship and happy. Usually because they were still single and missed their ‘partner-in-crime’. But as a women in my mid-thirties, I’m baffled as to why this can still happen. Especially when the jealous person in the scenario is married. If you were married, had children, surely you would be happy if your single friend was in relationship, wouldn’t you? 

I’m truly baffled. This is situation harder to figure out than a Rubics cube. Yes, if I am in a relationship with someone, I will make time for them because I want to. Having a tantrum about my lack of availability because there is someone new in my life is ridiculous. Especially in this instance, where historically my ‘partner-in-crime’ and I don’t see each other very often anyway because of work, the kids, the husband, the second job… Not to mention we live about 100kms apart.

Other than text message conversations, throughout our conflicting daily schedules, and quarterly catch up at her house, we don’t do a bunch of girlie stuff that has suddenly come to a halt as a result of me meeting someone. If this were high school, I would understand that spending less time with a best friend because of a guy, was similar to a mortal sin. But I don’t think that’s even applicable here. And more to the point, what is the big deal?

I see the recent text message I received as an attack on my happiness. Actually I don’t know what to make of it. My partner-in-crime calls it ‘reflecting on our friendship’. Reflection is very personal as far as I am concerned, and if one needs to reflect then I recommend doing it by the sea-side. It is a very peaceful and contemplative environment to be in for reflection.

Maybe I’m a little harsh on the reflection piece. But then again, I know the part of the text message I read that made me sit up, choke on my water and wonder if I was in fact in high school again. I honestly think that my former ‘partner-in-crime’ is upset with me because I failed to formerly announce that I was in a relationship. I know, my reaction was the same as yours.“What the fuck?”

I’m a little rusty on the relationship thing, but I have never felt the need to 'announce’ to everyone I know that I am in one. Surely if you know if any of your friends have been seeing someone for five months, they go to parties together, give joint gifts and go on weekend get-aways involving waterfalls that he means more than a random guy. Surely reasonable people can connect the novelty-sized dots and don’t sit around waiting to be formal told that it’s a meaningful connection. Surely!

Would updating my relationship status on Facebook have made things different? Possibly not, because in this instance I was told that she found out I was in a relationship because of one Twitter post I made. Seriously? Come on! I’m in trouble over an inferred boyfriend Twitter reference? This kind of stuff has to go down at high school in 2014. Those hundred and forty characters can cut like a knife… I know! That was my reaction too! “For F#%@ sake!" 

Is it so bad that I tweeted "He has messed with my marketing plan, but I reckon he’s allowed to”? Ummm, no. And I don’t see that really translates to me not 'valuing’ our alleged friendship. If anything, the whole text message conversation made me see that we are not on the same page as we once were. And in reality, we hadn’t been for a long time.

My partner-in-crime and I had very different lives. She has two jobs, two children, a husband, early nights and I have work, the gym, socializing, author duties, starting a company and a lot of late nights. Her entire 'reflection’ annoyed the bajeezus out of me and I failed to see her point, and refused to make time for it. It was her reflection, so I highly recommended that she continue to reflect and leave me out of it. Reflection is personal, I am not the sort of person who will send someone a message to give them an update on various aspects of my life. 

I just don’t get it and although I think it’s a little sad that we have stopped talking, maybe it’s for the best. I’ve never had a friendship with anyone where they feel like they are not important because I don’t give them updates. Is this a new thing where people are used to message feeds, rather than conversation? What’s so difficult about asking how things are going with that guy I started seeing in Summer if that’s what you want to know? I’m not really up for a friendship like that, that’s more of a Twitter follower scenario for me. 

This is such non-sense, it really makes me angry. It looks like the high school kids of today will have to be mindful of which friends are following them on Twitter. The social media school generation is definitely not my thing. It didn’t exist in 1994, and I have no need to create a parallel universe for myself today. And so it seems that my parter-in-crime and I are no longer partners.

People change, people have different values, and I have said it before and I will say it again: ’If someone is not for me, I will walk away’. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re just headed in different directions. For now, her 'reflections’ are really not my problem. So my reply was simple 'best wishes, etc. etc’…

Posted 167 weeks ago